Assertiveness Strategies

Here are a few techniques that will help you act in your own best interest whenever someone is pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do:

1. State your position, giving only one reason for your decision. A firm “I just don’t want to” or “I’ll pass;” will make it clear to the other person where you stand.

2. Keep repeating your position. Even if the person doing the pressuring keeps arguing, stay friendly, but show that you mean what you are saying. Look the person in the eye and say you’re sure he or she is probably right, but you still won’t go along. Sometimes making up an excuse—”I’m allergic to beer,” or “I promised to meet someone and need to go.”—will do the trick.

3. If necessary, take the offensive and put pressure on the other person. Ask why he or she won’t listen, or won’t take “No” for an answer. Tell the person, “Let’s drop it,” and then change the subject.

4. If nothing else works, refuse to talk about the situation any longer and walk away. Tell the person you won’t talk about it anymore. If that doesn’t work, or if the situation is dangerous or illegal, walk away.

5. Refuse to allow anyone to make you feel guilty or responsible for solving his or her problem. You’re not! People who play on your feelings to get you to do what they want are trying to manipulate you. Say “No” to anyone who claims, “I’d do it for you”, or “I thought you were my friend.”

Be Prepared

1. Describe a situation where you have given in to social pressure, or where you know that there will be a lot of pressure to drink or use drugs put upon you.

 

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2. What strategies can you use next time you are in a similar situation?

 

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