Motivation

Getting Motivated

The terms self-discipline, willpower and motivation are often used to describe a quality that we need to have in order to achieve success at whatever we are tying to do. Without these “magical qualities”, our goals, always seems to be slightly out of our grasp. Our goals can be to stop doing something that we are doing, such as quit smoking, or to start doing something such as get more exercise. When we fail to stop doing any behavior that is causing a problem for us, or do not seem to be able to do the new behaviors on the first try, our second try, or our third try—we often attribute our failure to a “lack of” motivation, willpower, or self-discipline. We just do not have those “magical qualities” that we need.

What if we stopped assuming that we lack certain valuable personality traits? Instead, we can say that we are motivated, we do have willpower and we are self-disciplined—what we lack are the “life-skills” and appropriate “coping methods” that come from practice, and perhaps “knowledge” of some of the steps smaller “in between steps” needed to get us from point A to point B. Thus, our goal then is “to learn something that is attainable” rather than “to obtain some sort of quality” that our past experience has shown us we do not seem to have.

What if we just tried to learn some new habits?

• Promise it – set a goal and stick with it. Just make a promise and keep your word.

• Befriend your discomfort – acknowledge that change can be hard, but it is an opportunity to gain something better.

• Change your mind and your body – Focus on the positive, believe in mind over matter.

• Sweeten the task – Reward yourself for each small step towards your goal.

• Talk about how bad it is to stay as you are. Tell yourself you have to change now, and it is just something that you need to do.

• Turn up the pressure – Set yourself a deadline, set harder goals if what you are doing is too easy. Break down the task into smaller steps if it is too hard. Just do it.

• Turn down the pressure – Do not let yourself get overwhelmed by thinking about everything that you need to change. Just focus on one small step at a time.

• Ask for support – Get support from others who will support the changes you want to make. Ask them to hold you accountable for making the changes in a reasonable time.

• Adopt a role model – Find a person who you believe portrays success and learn how they made positive changes in their life. It might be simpler than you think.

• Compare the pay offs to the costs. Create a pro and con list to support your reasons to change. Maintain a dynamic balance where you are working hard, but taking care of yourself at the same time. Balance your reasons for change with rewards.

• Do it later. Sometime you need to plan out a strategy for change, rather than rushing into a situation head-first. Think then act, and you will generally have an easier time.

• Head the message – If you are not ready to make changes ask yourself why?

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