Peace and Forgiveness

How to make peace with your past and get on with your life!

Making peace with our past is a process of honestly looking at ourselves, and recognizing that although we have been hurt by others, we cannot use this as an excuse for the things that we have done to hurt ourselves and others too. It is learning to take responsibility for our own behaviour – what we have done; and not to feel like a powerless victim of our circumstances or of our substance use. Being responsible is an empowering act – it is learning not to lay blame, but to recognize that choices were made – good and bad. It is being willing to make amends where we can, for the wrongs that we have done.  It is resolving to do our best to make healthy choices in the future.

Finding inner peace (being F.R.E.E.) means, reflecting on our thoughts and Finding any thinking errors. It is rooting out the stinking thinking – Remembering where it leads, and replacing it with healthy thoughts instead. Eliminate the thinking errors and Exploring alternatives - think about things that you can do to help yourself that do not hurt others.

Learning to be at peace with ourselves is learning to forgive others who have hurt us, and to forgive ourselves too for the bad things that we have done. Recognize that we feel angry when we believe we have been treated unfairly. When others hurt us, it is not our fault; we are not to blame. By recognizing that although we have been hurt by other people’s choices and behavior, we can still make healthy choices and not use our angry feelings as an excuse or catalyst to hurt our selves or others. We find peace when we stop justifying or rationalizing our harmful behaviors and start thinking and acting responsibly and make healthy choices.

The Forgiveness Chant

Facilitator leads the group, asking them to repeat what is said:

• I've been hurt. (group)  That's a fact. (group)  And because I've been hurt. (group)  Sometimes I whine. (group)  I complain. (group)  I tell everybody how bad I feel. (group).

• I've been hurt. (group)  That's a fact. (group)  And because I've been hurt. (group)  I hurt other people sometimes. (group)  I might hit. (group)  I might yell. (group)  I hurt people I care about. (group)  I can make your life hell. (group).

• I've been hurt. (group) That's a fact. (group)  And because I've been hurt. (group)  I run away. (group)  I refuse to listen. (group)  I drink too much. (group)  And I use drugs. (group)  And it feels so good. (group).

• I’ve been hurt. (group)  That’s a fact. (group)  And because I’ve been hurt. (group)  I hurt myself. (group)  I go to jail. (group)  I lie to myself. (group)  I feel angry and sad. (group)  I don’t know how to love. (group).

• But when I see. (group)  This is not working. (group)  People won’t listen to me. (group)  My life is a mess. (group)  I don't respect myself. (group)  But it's because I've been HURT. (group).

• I must choose. (group)  To let go of the past. (group)  Not forget but to learn. (group)  Because it wasn't my fault. (group)  I will not hurt myself anymore. (group)  I want to survive. (group)  I will not be a Victim. (group)  I will be kind to myself. (group)  And to others too. (group)  Today I  begin! (Group).

1. Is there anything in your past, which you “feel” you “need” to make peace with?
     What is it and what do you think you can do to “put the issue to rest”?

 

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2. Is there anything that you would like to change about yourself, how you act, how you
     treat others?  Did this behaviour come about as a result of how you were treated?

 

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3. Is there anybody who has “hurt you” in the past, that you need to forgive to be able to
   “let it go” and “get on with your life”?

 

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4. Do you think that you need to apologize to anyone that you might have hurt?  Do you
    think if you did apologize that it would help the other person get on with their life?

 

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5. How do you think you can be a part of the solution and not part of the problem?
(Hint: Make good choices, try not to hurt others, forgive those who have hurt you...)

 

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6. Think of a time when you were “hurt” by someone else, how did you feel?

 

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7. Now think of a time when you were totally at peace, how did you feel?

 

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