Addictions Related Jokes...

The Cuckoo Clock

The other night Sally was invited out for a night with "the girls." She told her husband that she would be home by midnight, "I promise!", she said.

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, she headed for home. Just as she got in the door the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing her husband would probably wake up, she cuckooed another 9 times. She was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning her husband asked her what time she got in, and she told him, "Midnight." He didn't seem angry at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When she asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times; then said, 'Oh, Sh&*!'; cuckooed 4 more times; cleared its throat; cuckooed another 3 times; giggled; cuckooed twice more; and then tripped over the coffee table and passed gas."

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First Date

On their first date, a man asked his companion if she'd like a drink. "Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said. Later he offered her a cigarette. "Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said again.

On the drive home, he saw a motel. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked if she wanted to stop in there. "Okay," she replied.

"What will you tell your Sunday school class?" he asked, shocked.

"The same thing I always tell them: 'You do not have to drink or smoke to have a good time.'"

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