Lost in Poetry: A Healthy Addiction

T'was the Night Before Rehab.

T'was the night before rehab and all through my brain,

 Danced so many creatures like fear, hope and pain.

 To the top of the mountain, a place called "the farm."

 My training began-despite my alarm,

 My guard was up as I'd done this before

 And I prayed it would leave when I entered the door.

 "Have a treatment experience" J.D. had said.

 It was then I realized, I still had some dread.

 But my nerves settled down and my work than began

 On the numerous tasks found in my treatment plan.

 One of my first tasks was relating my story,

 Which then quickly led to a self inventory.

 Anger, resentment, selfishness and fear

 Were a few of my defects that appeared crystal clear.

 Manipulation, pride, impatience and lust,

 Intolerance, dishonesty---Change was a MUST!

 I listed my assets to gain perspective

 And realized once more, I was not all defective.

 Honesty, openness, the ability to care.

 Self acceptance, commitment and hope-not despair.

 Patience and tolerance, the willingness to grow.

 An attitude of gratitude began now to show.

 Confronted with more insight, to now greater depths,

 I knew it was the right time to re-work The Steps.

 Powerless-unmanageable the nature of me

 Focused my thoughts back on step 2 and 3.

 Inventory, confession, readiness and prayer.

 Tackled my short comings and lessened their glare.

 Made amends to my family, to whom I'd done harm

 And a daily spot check..it worked like a charm.

 Now I prayed for the knowledge of God's will for me,

 As I completely surrendered and then was set free.

 T'was the night before discharge and all through my brain

 No longer danced feelings like fear, dread and pain.

 I was leaving the mountain, a place called "the farm"

 An as I was told..it had done me no harm.

 Some changes occurred as the result of my stay.

 The first one that stands out was my action of play.

 More faith and more trust, a stronger program to live,

 More ability to take and not just to give.

 Courage, humility....gifts from God above

 Deeper serenity and a greater self love.

 My time now has come to say my final good-bye

 One Day At A Time, I no longer live high!

Anonymous

Wife of a User

Here so down on life. Single, free and closed up tight. Cold hearted to the male gender. Hiding feeling in the night. Oh, so complex, simple it could be. Unlocked the door containing thee. A beam of light sneaking in. Stop this, can’t let you win. Hurt once, don’t take the chance. Turn run away, feeling say no. Stay, laugh, smile, dreams blossom. Arm in arm we will grow. Making the choice to be Wed. To the one who changed it all. Hard times, Good times, Love is there. Together a family, now standing tall. Dreams growing larger. Children with all the wants. Trying to keep it together. While one has closed off. Fighting to get in. Seems to be pointless. Feelings flowing, words talking. Ears listening but no answers. Darkness set in, Why asked. The day-to-day routine. No spontaneous roads, laughter gone. Still fighting to not be alone. Eyes suddenly opened. Secrets revealed. Betrayed by the unknown. Adultery, playing the field. If would have taken notice. Would have seen. Long before the telephone ring. The facts not hidden from thee. Now the end with a new Beginning. Starting over and not trusting. Had it all, Love, Trust, and Thee. Same time not wanting to prove anything. The truth presented in black and white. Denial of it all, continuously. Choice made, Let go and erase. New beginning starts out hard. With trust betrayed. True sincerity. must be proven. But not today. Marriage is united as one. Too easy to walk away. Too hard to forget, chose to forgive. Marriage to death do us part. Changing, Changing, Eyes wide open. Waiting, Waiting, Alone as always. Sleeping, Sleeping, Thoughts spinning. What the hell is going on. Now Darkness has taken the other. No feelings, No thoughts, No cares. The darkness is deeper, than deep. The darkness is DEATH. Death, do us part. Poof. Family hurting and now gone. Little message you see.. Open your eyes – Crank has won! You were never in control from day one. For whatever reason this has begun. You need to realize you have lost. Lost everything that has ever had meanings in your heart. Do and continue to die. This is the choice you have chosen. So before that day comes. The day that you will take your last breathe. I want you to know you are loved. Unconditional. You fought so very hard to win my heart. In winning by heart you have also ripped it apart. You gave me everything in the world. And now you have taken everything away. Hoping that you can see before it is too late. Stop and make the choice that will make things right. StrongLove