Stop talking about USING alcohol or drugs: This is the best new habit you can create. Simply stop talking about your alcohol or drug use. If you do need to talk about it, keep the conversation as short as possible. “I do not use that any more, please do not offer me any.” When you talk about “using” something, you remember what it feels like to use, and then you may begin to think about going out and using again. You start making excuses in your mind to use, and before you know it, you have used. Keep the glorifying or war stories to a minimum!
Stay away from other drugs or other addictions: If methamphetamine is your problem drug, do not go out and get drunk, or switch to some other substance that is going to lower you inhibitions (our mental and behavioral safeguards). If you say: “Yes” to one thing that is not good for you, it makes it easier to say: “Yes” to something else. So, stop the process sooner rather than later.
Call your dealer or drug source: This is a very important strategy, but please do NOT do it when you are alone. Have someone else monitor your conversation so you will not get into talked into anything. Your message ideally should be something like: “I am not using anymore, please do not contact me ever again, or if I should call in a moment of weakness, please hang up on me.” If your dealer does call you, let them know that they need to stop or you will contact the authorities. (Even if you would probably not follow through, most dealers would cut-you-off and not call you again.) If you are dealing yourself – break your ties with your suppliers, and tell your clients that you are no longer in the business. As hard as it may be to get out… your life is ultimately worth so much more.
Change your environment: You can change your situation in many ways, find new things to do with your spare time, start new hobbies, stop going to old familiar places where you will be recognized or places that you associate with using. Get into treatment, join support groups, go to meetings, make plans for social activities that do not involve alcohol or drugs. Volunteer your time to help others. May great jobs started out as volunteer positions. If all else fails, change your phone number, and move as far away from high-risk people and places as you need to. This may also involve entertaining at home or at places where you know that no using behavior will be allowed.
Use family and friends as a support system: You will most likely be amazed at how many people have been waiting in the wings for you to quit or change your behavior so that they can help. The best help given is to people who want to help themselves. So, if you can show that you are helping yourself – hopefully you will find an abundance of people and resources out there to guide you along. If you need to make amends with family and friends – there is no time like the present! Just keep in mind that not everything you may be responsible for can be repaired at once. Some things take time, and some things you just have to let go. Seek out those people who will help, and stay away from those persons who will hurt your recovery.
Set up a financial plan: A financial plan details how you are going to take care of your basic needs for food, clothing, and shelter. Especially if these were the very needs that were sacrificed for your substance use. Make meeting these needs a priority now. It can be as simple as making a budget, or having your paycheck deposited directly to your bank account and your rent and other expenses set up as automatic withdrawals. For some people having any amount of cash in their hands is a trigger to use. Make it a priority to clear up your financial debts and if you a lot of people money, work out with them a schedule to gradually pay them back. If you can think of three other things you can spend your money on – before you buy something that you do not really need – you probably will spend your money wisely.
Use the “Dead Letter” Technique to deal with shame and guilt issues: A dead letter is one that is written but never mailed. An example would be to write letters to people who you had been hiding your substance use from (the people you least want to know about your bad habits). You do not ever have to mail these letters, but they can be great motivators to move on in your recovery because you have been able to be honest about the bad choices you have made. It is a safe way of letting go of things that cannot be changed.
Write a contract to yourself: Learning to be accountable to yourself is the basis of being responsible. Being accountable to yourself and others is recognizing that what we do affects the people around us: such as our friends, our families, our community and society in general. I often have my clients write out a “what if” contract. It states that if they are not able to manage their recovery with their own resources that they have a treatment center that they can go to that will provide more intensive structure and supports. Your contract will set out reasonable goals and expectations that you will try to live by, and if you are not able to meet these expectations – what steps will be taken.
Learn to think long-term: Substance users and people with addictions in general tend to focus on meeting their immediate gratification needs – whatever makes me feel good now. Learning to think long term involves beginning to think your behavior through to possible conclusions – how will I feel when I have a hangover, or am in withdrawal. Thinking long-term also means that your focus shifts to doing things that are better for you in the long run, such as not going to places that you know could possibly trigger unwanted using behaviors. It also helps you to focus on goals.
Follow a solid nutritional plan: It is important to keep your physical and mental states stable. Anything that upsets your stability puts you at risk for addictive – self-soothing behavior. So, follow a nutritional and vitamin supplement program carefully and regularly. There are a number of good books that address specific foods and supplements that people in recovery can use to help their brain chemistry achieve a normal balance in the shortest time possible.
Stop the behavioral chain before you end up using: Most using behavior or other addictive behavior starts long before the actual addiction happens. It often starts with a trigger incident: a “person”, “place”, “thing”, or “situation” that causes an emotional reaction within you. Something raises your level of anxiety and tension – stress. You then seek to reduce this stress by thinking about how you have reduced the stress before, and start to plan how you can use again. It is like a chain-reaction from an incident that triggers unwanted feelings – something upsets your balance. You begin to think about how to reduce the anxiety and contemplate actual substance use or unwanted behavior – a drug desire or craving. This leads to a plan to use – drug hunger, and then to actual substance use. If you can avoid the triggering situation in the first place that is the best option. Many 12 step fellowships use the H.A.L.T. formula – do not let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Otherwise try to break the chain at any point along the way by remembering what will happen and choosing a different strategy to resolve your frustrations or problems. Even thinking about something that you know will calm you down can help you deal with daily life better.
Learn to assert yourself: People in active addiction have often forgotten how to say “No”, and delay gratification. Whether you need to learn how to say “No” to the substance use, or walk away from tempting situations, each person must develop strategies to deal with their weak areas. Asking others to help you stay strong and resist temptations will help you to feel closer to others and allow your family and friends to show their support for your recovery.
Use self-help groups: There are many forms of self-help groups for all kinds of addictions. Simply knowing that others share in and struggle with a similar addiction can be great support. Learning how to help others is also a great way to help your self.
Learn to assess your risky behaviors: For example: If you are thinking about going out with a friend who you have used with in the past, assess your risk of using from 0 (not at all) to 10 (most likely will use). If any risk is more than five – is it worth the risk? Even a 50-50 risk may be far too great to take a chance on and possible fall back to unwanted behaviors.
Learn to be Self-aware: Most people are fairly aware of their thinking, less so of their feelings and less aware of their body or physical health. Start to think about whether what you are doing to yourself like using a substance or even over eating is really a good thing for your body in the long run. How do you feel about yourself when you are using? This leads back to a new level of thinking and hopefully better choices.
Work on loss and grieving issues: If find that your addictive behavior is a coping mechanism for dealing with the emotional pain from the events in your life, you can learn how to help yourself by working through the stages of loss and grieving.
(Ten Steps to work through Loss and Grieving)
Get rid of drug paraphernalia: Any scales, jars, pipes, ashtrays, anything that is associated with your substance use or addictive behavior.
Check your values: Just take some time to think about what is really important in your life. Are the things that are important to you now, and your goals and dreams the same as before your addictive behavior? What dreams did you give up when you started using? How can you once again start working towards achieving the things in life that really matter to you? Make it your plan to exceed your dreams!