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 The following was posted by a member of the discussion bulletin board.
 Grace = unmerited favor.
Did I deserve to be healed from Meth? No.
I was miserable before I used meth. That is why I used meth. I used meth to get me through the pain. I had a sad, empty heart and more. I felt ashamed of my life. I felt condemned. I was suicidal many times. I felt separated from all good things - especially love. I did not feel I met anyone's expectations or my own. I felt unaccepted, like a failure, and worthless.
 As I was using Meth, I happened to watch a minister who was on T.V. He shared the message of the grace of God. He shared this verse, “Let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 (KJV)
I began to understand a vital characteristic of God's nature. I needed to know I could come to Him just as I was, with my record of wrong doings and all. I needed to know, I could approach Him in my condition and He would not turn me away. I needed to know He did care for me even though I had turned my back on Him and did things I am forever ashamed of. I was in great spiritual bankruptcy and really wanted to die.
 I came to understand the scripture, “Let us come BOLDLY.” It is bold to kneel before a Holy God with my suitcase full of personal sins that cannot be hid from Him and expect help from Him. However this scripture says that is exactly what I must do to get the “mercy and grace in time of need.” From that point on I began to start to get hungrier for His life giving words. I slowly began to change my life and I stopped using. As His words started to change me, I started to become convinced of Him. It was a huge deal for me. I went from the cold darkness of pain and despair to the warmth of the Son.
 Shortly thereafter, I heard through a friend that her friend was in the hospital and was not expected to live but a few more days. I, being convinced that God can do all things, went to the hospital to see her. The doctor said I could visit with her but “not for long.” She lay in the hospital bed pale, thin and weak. She opened her eyes and said, “I know why you are here, do not pray for me, I am a drug addict and I deserve everything I am getting.” She decided to allow me to pray. We closed our eyes and I began to pray - I peeked at her as I was praying and I witnessed a healthy pink glow began to cascade down her complexion. Our prayer came to an end and all I could say to her was “This is your day.” I also asked that she not tell anyone that I came to see her, because I would never want any attention for this. I went home.
 A few days later, I asked my friend how her friend was doing. She said. “Oh! You never going to believe this! The hospital is letting her come home!” I said: “What happened to change the outcome?” Then she said: “I don't know, but I was told it was the power of God!” What happens next may or may not be a shocker for you. Two weeks after I witnessed this miracle... I RELAPSED!
But I remembered the verse - Hebrews 4:16. I was tweeking on meth and it was on a Sunday. I told myself I am going to the throne of grace, I am going to get dressed and go to church, I am going to go, I am going to go, as I am right now (on drugs). I am going to go to the church service and sit right on that church pew with everyone else and I hope God will see me there and I will get a miracle (deliverance from using meth).
I had seen a church by my apartment, but never went there before and nobody knew me. However, I told myself, that church would be that “throne.” I chose a bright red dress to go to church in (so tweeker of me). I put it on and walked by myself, in my bright red dress, to that church. I went in and sat with the rest of the crowd. I sat on my hands because I did not want anyone to see my hands shaking due to the drugs. I sat there and waited for church to begin. As I sat, bucket of tears poured out of my eyes, I leaned my head forward and down so no one could spot me. Gallons of tears fell on my lap. A very still quietness came over a church of about 100 people. You could hear a pin drop.
Then somebody from across the church began to speak in a language foreign to me. Then someone speaking in English with a voice for the whole congregation to hear said: “Come out from among them and be ye separate.” At that very instant I turned completely sober. I walked to my home - sober. That was the last time I ever used meth.
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