What are Spiritual Counseling Relationships?
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The word spiritual by definition means “relating to the soul or spirit, usually in contrast to material things. It is being connected by an affinity of the mind, spirit, or temperament.” It is lifting our thoughts, feelings, and ultimately actions, to a place beyond our earthly troubles.
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To counsel means to “help with personal or psychological matters.”
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Relationship means: “the connection between two or more people or groups especially as regards how they behave toward each other and communicate or cooperate.”
Thus to counsel another person in this way is to foster an empathic therapeutic relationship that helps the person move beyond their material concerns.
“Universal truths” often they do not make sense until they are understood, or experienced in person. Someone could tell you—E=mc2, but if you do not know what it means then it could be almost anything.
Likewise, to say that “Love is the answer” also has little meaning apart from the context of relationships. I think God ordered things right for us in the two greatest commandments. I often tell my clients: “Freedom from suffering is as easy as focusing your attention away from your self.” But then where should our attention be, and how are we to relate to each other?
Love God First and your Neighbor as Yourself
Mt 22:37-39 Says: Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Humanity and Spirituality
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Humanity – Both our greatest curse and greatest blessing about being human, is that we are “social beings” (meant for relationships) and we need each other.
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Spirituality – Is having a relationship with something larger than our selves, the eternal.
Client-Focused Counseling
Eph 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Counselor Qualities
Col 3:12 “Clothe yourself with: Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
Client Acceptance as being Worthy
Col 4:6 “Let your conversation be always full of grace (acceptance), seasoned with salt (relationships), so that you may know how to answer everyone!”
Grace is unmerited favor—client is accepted unconditionally.
Therapeutic Relationship
Mk 9:50 “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourself (a relationship with yourself and God), and be at peace with each other.” Salt is in us all! Salt is in our bodies – the walls of our cells.
Able to Provide Answers
1Pe 3:15 “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
Doug’s Counseling Philosophy (Universal Truths)
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Reason – Our ability to think and figure things out for our selves. This includes being honest, responsible, accountable, taking initiative, and so on.
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Purpose – Realizing on a personal level that there is a purpose for our lives. This helps us to understand there is a reason for “everything we have been through in our lives” (past, present and future). Purpose – speaks to our goals, and dreams (pulling us onward).
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Self-Esteem – We “act” according to how we “feel” about ourselves. It includes our self-worth, our confidence, other people’s perceptions of us, and our energy level and motivations for everything we do.
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Integration – Having a “sense of belonging, of being rooted, and personal identity,” through having a relationship with our self, our family (birth or self-created), our community, our city, our country, humanity, and with God (spirituality – universal). The depth of our personal integration is a reflection of our strength (to act), and of the level of support we feel, and self-efficacy (our beliefs / values – and how we think).
Drugs make you Poor in Spirit
Eph 5:18 “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.”
Pr 23:20-21 “Do not join those who drink too much wine, on gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”
Pr 23:29-35 “Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper. Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mind imagine confusing things. You will be like one sleeping on the high seas, lying on top of the rigging. “They hit me,” you will say, “but I am not hurt! They beat me, but I do not feel it! When will I wake up, so I can find another drink?”
Goal of Spiritual Counseling
Thus the goal of spiritual counseling is to help others to experience a fuller relationship with God and their fellow human beings, within the context of a loving community.
It is helping others to understand:
1. That they can know Jesus as their personal savior,
2. That there is a divine purpose for their lives,
3. That they are loved by God and are capable of both giving and receiving love,
4. That they have the ability to choose the nature of their relationship with God and others, but that they are accepted as worthy already.
